After months of research across several countries, I have reached the following conclusion regarding the relationship between the price of wine and its quality:
The x-axis on this graph represents price of wine in euros while the y-axis represents quality of wine ranging from Good to Piss and/or Vinegar. As you can see, the quality of the wine rises as one approaches 3 euros however the quality drastically falls between 3 and 5 euros, reaching drinkable levels again around 5.50 euros. This relationship has been seen in France (4.95 euro bottle of rose which was disgusting compared with a more tolerable 3.50 euro bottle of rose), in Spain (where 0.84 euro bottle of wine actually tastes better than a 4 euro bottle), and Ireland (where an extra euro spent on a bottle of wine resulted in wine that was so aptly described as "containing Chilean animal feces").
So next time you're feeling classy and thinking about getting that 5 euro bottle of wine, remember this relationship. It's better to give in to your cheapness and buy the 1.95 euro bottle; besides, no one at the party knows how much the wine cost but they will know vinegar when they taste it.
* The same results have been seen in Montreal, however the price levels differ. The quality peaks at around $8 and falls dramatically between $9 and $12.
** This relationship is more certain for white wines than red wines, especially in the case of Montreal. I find that any bottle of red under $12 (besides L'Auberge) generally results in wine-shot taking as a tolerable drinking measure and a hangover whose pain rivals sitting through a 2 hour of lecture of Population Dynamics when the wifi has cut out.
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