Emma Goes to the ER or How Vitamin D Ruined My Weekend

So some of you may know about the cupcake incident, some may know about my serious lack of chugging skills, and some may know about the pill crusher but for the most part, you all know that I have a small esophagus and have trouble swallowing food and large pills for that matter. For whatever reason - most likely because I was feeling cocky and/or unusually health conscious - I decided to take a Vitamin D pill early Saturday afternoon just as I was about to leave my apartment. HUGE mistake. Before you know it, I was in my bathroom trying to force up the pill. It was most definitely stuck and no amounts of water or shock vomiting would get it to move. I called my friends and they came over, hoping to guide me through the process. However after six hours, many experiments about vitamin d dissolving in coke and water, and consultation with my friend's dad, a doctor, we decided to go to the ER. The hospital wasn't too far from my apartment but I was not in a good state aka throwing up like every 5 seconds. Highlight of the trek to the hospital: vomming into the Seine off the bridge right next to Notre Dame. The tourists were delighted, I'm sure of it.

We arrived at the hospital and yada yada mucho waiting in the waiting room. I was called in and they examined my throat while I - between spitting up - explained to them in French what happened. They determined that the pill would have dissolved by then so they sent me to another hospital just a 15 minute cab ride away where there was a throat specialist. She said it was a throat inflammation which was made worse by throwing up. They sent me home and I was hoping to wake up feeling hunky dory. Nope wrong again. I rested all Sunday but still could only manage to keep just a little bit of water down. Sunday night was torture aka I had a dream about McDonalds thats how hungry I was. This morning I woke up feeling even worse and I was super dehydrated so instead of going to my first day of classes I went back to the ER, almost passing out on the walk there. This time they gave me an IV (joyous liquids running through my veins) so I was finally able to gain back some strength. I stumbled back home with prescription meds in hand, still feeling slightly awful until about 230 pm when I was able to chug a glass of pineapple juice and keep it down! Miracles upon miracles. So now I'm just recovering and will hopefully be ready for my 5 pm class tomorrow. I'm slightly pissed because I had a bad weekend and missed the first day of classes but at least I can say that I am a true parisian as I experienced how the medical system works at not one but two hospitals! And I learned a valuable lesson: vitamins are inferior to eclairs. After all, a pastry would never put me in this condition.

PS. I cannot believe I went to the ER before Novack.